the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
