If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
