Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
