Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
