don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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