Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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