Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
