Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
