Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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