I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
