Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
