I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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