Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
