I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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