you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
