well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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