I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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