So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize