Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
