so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
