mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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