How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
