I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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