Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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