i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize