Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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