it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
