dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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