I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
