So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize