apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
