Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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