tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
