yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have fence marks all over my body
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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