I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
