I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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