just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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