There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
