What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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