WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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