Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
