she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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