ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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