i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
