She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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