Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
