omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize