All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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