Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
