i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize