so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
