Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
