YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
