Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
