please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize