I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
