"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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