he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
