Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
love makes seman taste better
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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