are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
