My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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