One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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