i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
