His hands were made for my vagina.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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