I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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