Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
