My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
