I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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