if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
3pm strippers are depressing
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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