he puts the penis in happiness.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
